This last week felt like a dip in the deep.
And, the Lord’s trying to teach me something about it.
But, instead of a nice fluffy lesson in the lap of the Father,
I feel like a conditioning coach got a hold of me.
And, we’re in preseason.
Eating only healthy things.
Exercising twice a day.
It’s that feeling after a few long weeks of practice.
Where I know I’m losing fat.
And gaining muscle.
But, there’s pain in knowing tomorrow’s conditioning holds pain again.
Tomorrow it doesn’t end.
Tomorrow is more conditioning.
Tomorrow doesn’t provide relief here.
My coach says,
Stay focused, Ash.
We’re learning something new.
Watch your step.
Don’t trade training for sleep.
Do the work.
Go to practice.
Stay the course.
Keep the attention.
“We’re doing something here.”
I feel like the Lord’s asking me to opt out of coping.
Anything that eases pain.
Press in, Ash.
Relief will come.
But, unlike how I’ve led my life until this point, I don’t get to control the relief.
I feel triggered.
Dig it out.
Deal with it.
It’s the only way to get relief.
Face the problem.
Face a new one.
Talk about it.
Process faster than you do.
Face the feeling.
Face the past.
I think we’re working on stamina.
The ability to stay a smudge longer under the pressure.
I suppose that’s how stamina’s learned.
Pushing longer, further, faster.
We are more than our self-predicted finish lines.
He has more for us.
He has longer, further, faster for us.
And he’ll help train us to see what he sees for us.
That finish line we don’t have eyesight for yet.
I think that’s one of my favorite parts about the Lord.
He believes in me more than I do.
He can see past the conditioning and into what will be.
I think that’s why he gives us hope.
Because he can see the finish line.
And, that means that it’s gonna be okay.