It’s Gonna Be Okay

 

1469809_10152448419499358_902602132_n

 

This last week felt like a dip in the deep.

 

And, the Lord’s trying to teach me something about it.

 

 

But, instead of a nice fluffy lesson in the lap of the Father,

I feel like a conditioning coach got a hold of me.

 

And, we’re in preseason.

Eating only healthy things.

Exercising twice a day.

 

 

It’s that feeling after a few long weeks of practice.

Where I know I’m losing fat.

And gaining muscle.

 

But, there’s pain in knowing tomorrow’s conditioning holds pain again.

Such. Pain.

Tomorrow it doesn’t end.

Tomorrow is more conditioning.

Tomorrow doesn’t provide relief here.

 

My coach says,

Stay focused, Ash.

We’re learning something new.

Watch your step.

Don’t trade training for sleep.

 

Do the work.

Go to practice.

Stay the course.

Keep the attention.

 

“We’re doing something here.”

 

I feel like the Lord’s asking me to opt out of coping.

Anything that eases pain.

 

Press in, Ash.

It’s coming.

Relief will come.

Eventually.

 

But, unlike how I’ve led my life until this point, I don’t get to control the relief.

 

I feel triggered.

Most days.

 

He says,

Dig it out.

Deal with it.

Press through.

It’s the only way to get relief.

 

Face the problem.

Face a new one.

Talk about it.

Be direct.

 

Process faster than you do.

Don’t avoid.

Confront.

 

Face the feeling.

Face the past.

Dig deeper.

 

I think we’re working on stamina.

The ability to stay a smudge longer under the pressure.

 

I suppose that’s how stamina’s learned.

Pushing longer, further, faster.

Increasing ability.

Increasing belief.

 

We are more than our self-predicted finish lines.

 

He has more for us.

He has longer, further, faster for us.

 

And he’ll help train us to see what he sees for us.

That finish line we don’t have eyesight for yet.

 

 

 

I think that’s one of my favorite parts about the Lord.

He believes in me more than I do.

He can see past the conditioning and into what will be.

 

I think that’s why he gives us hope.

 

Because he can see the finish line.

And, that means that it’s gonna be okay.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “It’s Gonna Be Okay

  1. Bill Swan says:

    This is great Ash! I like that you are a fighter and do keep pressing in, and you keep going whether you want to or not. Keep on keeping on.

  2. alysseay says:

    I’m such a big fan of you- sending you much love and a place in my thoughts!!

  3. sethbarnes says:

    Yes – this is the Holy Spirit. He’s your coach saying, “you were built for more. others will jog, but I made you a runner.” It’s a great thing to be a runner. It’s a great thing to press in and get more. the pain is worth it!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: